I haven’t been in ‘the zone’ since May i don’t know exactly what happened what Oprah/ Dr Phil defining moment made me not be a strong and accurate as i had been with weight loss as the previous 12 months and to tell you the truth i’m sick of trying to find in. Mostly like i was just ‘over’ the whole weight loss thing but this is a story for another time.

I want to be back in the zone i want to make good food choices and deal with it when i don’t not just write off the day or have tracking ammnesia.

Today i am back i’m in the zone and i won’t get out of it. If it means that i’m not part of the in crowd then so be it. If it means i have to revised my exercise and change what i am doing then i WILL do that (as i type that i’m not really believing it) but i know that weights is where it is at and group fitness is ok but weights will make me lean.

If it doesn’t have a points value i’m not eating it!!!

Dylan is in the zone

Dylan is in the zone

Dylan is in the zone

Dylan is in the zone

Dylan is in the zone

THAT IS ALL

this time of year is so exciting so much to do people are happy and merry.

It’s so easy to be positive

my weight loss is going well and a special someone has taken a keen interest in my diet so i must keep good records this week and stay clean and sensible.

I’m taking a rest day from exercise today. Being of the diet coke has taken away my buzz and i find it easier to sleep in. I figure today is ok to rest coz i will do a double tomorrow AM RPM and PM Pump and then a triple on saturday.

Looking forward to the end of the working week.

ah hump day in some ways i want this week to be over you know just the usual that i would prefer not to come to work! But work is really full on at the moment and i need more hours in the day to get everything done.

I fucked up this morning and woke up ten mins too late to get to pump on time (I could have gotten the late train but it would have had to rush the whole way and missing the warm up etc it is really hard to set up in Pump when it’s already started). I did manage to go back to sleep for another hour though! Now it’s all about doing sexy Andreas cycle class this arvo can’t wait to see how many calories i burn off with him.

My weight is stable at 89kg i really want it to keep moving down i don’t want to get stuck again but you know what? I am not going to

ok better work now

motivation today is to become a fire fighter and be the axe woman on the crew

he is bring sexy back baby!

i went swimming today with my sister and it has drained me of all my energy. Swimming has always had this effect on me so i’m kind of in slow motion at the moment, but that’s ok it’s sunday there is no reason to rush.

good news back down to 89kg i am so happy now i just have to keep it going. Xmas parties are a challenge but i just need to remember my goals.

MY challenge this week is to up my weights sessions. It’s what Kellie wants me to do and i want her to be pround of me and to be able to see that i have done it.

So the exercise plan is

Monday - Body Pump AM nothing in the arvo coz i have a preso at work which will run late

Tuesday  - AM WEIGHTS SESSION and PM Combat (coz i love it)

Wednesday  - AM Body Pump and PM CYCLE

Thursday - AM Weights session

Friday - AM RPM and PM Body Pump

Saturday -AM RPM and Combat oh and pilates coz the j.lo will be back

Sunday - Nothing but i think this is an ideal weights day so i might think about it

Food wisr i’m staying CLEAN all week ad i’m still off diet coke yay me it’s more than a week now diet coke is dead to me.

In good news i have found henna hair wax again so tonight after tea and dishes i’m going to whack it on and RELAX my hair so needs this right now it is so shit.

p.s. how much do i envy the j.lo right now she sat next to my man at quarterlies and didn’t even take a pic for me. BOO YOU j.lo get a picture phone.

my mind is on overload

sometimes i wish i could switch it off not think about anything

i am really battling with myself at the moment with food i’m winning which is nice but i feel like every meal is a battle every food choice agonised over WHEN WILL THIS END i feel like drew barrymore in driving in cars with boys

Life is weird people who were mean to me in high school want to be my friend on facebook i accept them who wants to hold a grudge huh.

Work is a million miles an hour sometimes i feel like i will break or my head will whiz off with all the crap that i get asked to do. Sometimes i envy check out chicks coz they don’t have to be on top of 30 billion things they can just scan groceries. Maybe that is harsh, i don’t mean it to be harsh i’m not a job snob at all and i can appreciate a good check out chick who knows the difference between a cucumber and a zucchini.

Revelation - I am a competitive person.

One of the thinks that has shocked me into action at the moment with my weight loss is other people passing me by getting under my weight and keeping going.  I am happy for everyone on this journey of fat fighting who succeeds but gee it makes me think HEY i should be there what’s happened to me????? So i’m doing the hard yards fighting my demons not taking the easy option. It sux but i have been taking the easay option for 6 months now and i am NOT happy with the easy option i’m back on the HARD road. It wont be hard forever just until i get back into it. Also inspired by one of my fav bloggers Emma (sorry i don’t know how to link ) i am giving up diet coke. She has seen a naturopath who has recommended it and because i am thinking of going to a naturopath too i thought why not start now. I haven’t had any diet coke today so that’s one day down the rest of my life to go. I’m hoping my skin will thank me too, i seriously need to do something about my skin it’s just yukky.

no real exercise today i am going to punish myself tomorrow with some serious running around the domain here in auckland.

ok promised myself i would have an early one so nighty night

I am still going strong sticking to points sticking to exercise

i did combat this morning and realised that these shoes of mine are too small every time we scissored i could feel my big toe crashing into my shoe. I need to resign myself to the fact that my feet are too big for girls sizes and i just need to wear men’s shoes!!!

A stroke of luck today with all my jet setting and socialising my weekly train ticket purchase day has been all f’d up and i was meant to buy a ticket today but i didn’t even think about it when i was on the station today. When i got to town hall and put my ticket in and it said invalid it took me 2 minutes to realise that it had expired so i though oh shit i’m done for bring on the fine. I apporoached 3 rail cops and they walked away from me the gate was open and my automatic reaction was to grab one and explain the situtation and then i though hang on girl what are you doing? just get out of there so out i went. Thank you rail cops for avoiding doing your job you have saved me a few hundred bucks i love you

hmmmm where’s ben i need a coffee

I am summonsing Demi Moore in GI Jane for my health and fitness at the moment. I need to be army strong, tough and uncomprimising.

I am going to reach my goal and i am going to do everything i can to get there. No EXTRA snacks or excuses i am strong physically and mentally.

Thanks Donna for telling me to snap out of it your right it’s exactly what i need to do. I’ve had some revelations over the last few days and i’m back.

Also i got a lovely comment from the receptionist at my gym this morning she said how great i look and how much i’ve improved from when i first joined the gym. Which is coming up to a year ago now. That has put me on a high for the day.

All is going well i have done pump this morning and CYCLE tonight

Points are looking good , life is good i am positive and on track

Tiny D tagged me so i am answering these questions

when i find some friends i will tag them

Q) Four dishes i like to cook

1) Vegetarian Tacos 4 points

2) Roast pumpkin and feta pita pizza’s 7 points

3) Vege and Tofu stir fry with hokkien noodles

4) Fruit Salad maybe not cooking but a masterpiece the way i do it

Q) Four Qualities i love in people

Sencerity

Kindness

Honesty and Determination

Q) Four places i have been

Auckland

Swansea

Lightning Ridge

Rotarua

Q) Four things in my bedroom

Beauty products

Clothes

CD’s

Jewellery

Q) Four dirty words i like

c**t scrape

Whore

Fuck

get your rat out

When did i lose confidence in myself that i could complete this weight loss journey?

I don’t act like a successful person

my own internal dialogue to myself says you wont get to goal you will just keep chipping away but always sabotage yourself when you get close.

I don’t want to think like this and there is so much of my thinking that is strong and positive

i want to get to goal